fussypants: Gentle Art of Ruling One's Husband

Welcome, My Fabulous Friends of Fussy! Are y'all ready to fight the frump? First off, did ya pick up some well-made ~~trousers~~, ~~slacks~~, pants, yet? What about those mid-rise, dark-wash straight leg jeans?

Now, now, don't tell Fussy that you can't afford them. I promise that if you sneak on over to your local Salvation Army, you'll find some. Hey, you'll be giving money to charity, too. You'll RAWK and look fabulous!

This week we are all about make-up. Love it or hate it, you probably need it. Before you fire off the hate mail, hear me out. Unless your husband truly prefers a clean scrubbed face and/or you are naturally gorgeous, you really need to take a few moments and consider your options.

Here are a few Fussy thoughts-

1) Even Fussy needs help! Because Fussy loves to show her ~~adoring fans~~ reader some honesty and love, she has decided to share her own before and after.....

Here is Fussy after applying her make-up...

Before she puts on her make-up, Fussy allowed this picture to be taken...

See? We all need a little help here and there!

2)Eyeshadow in shades of taupe and brown are lovely on everyone! Remember we want to shade above the eyes to make them appear larger and brighter. Fussy's favorite tip is using a teeny bit of white shadow in the inner & outer corners of her eyes, because concealer sometimes looks like Spackle!

Eyelash curlers are a LIFESAVER! Simply heat it up a little with your hairdryer and then curl your upper lashes. It is amazing! Then put on your mascara as usual, Oh Happy Day! Be sure to let Fussy know how it went. (Don't burn yourself! We heat it gently, not create an eye scorcher!)

3) Nail Realities. If you are a mommy, you probably have a tough time keeping your tips painted and looking nice. Unfortunately, if you paint your nails a pretty color and let them get chipped, it looks supa-tacky. Yes, people notice! Stop it, now!

Paint your nails a pretty natural shade! Then, when they chip, it won't be so noticeable! Also, be sure to use a 10 day polish that lasts and lasts. Don't get sucked in to those quick-dry colors. They chip the next day, arrrrr!

4) When going out, put on (at least) a little lipstick and mascara!

Fussy keeps a little make-up stash in her 'burban's console with all the necessities.She always leaves the house ~~10 minutes~~ 5 minutes early. She buckles up all the Monkeys, ~~puts on a MAx & Ruby DVD~~ plays some classical music, and takes 5 minutes to do a touch-up.

Otherwise, she could never sit and put it on at home. The Monkey's would riot and start a cacophony of requests for snacks, refereeing, and diaper changes.

Buckled in the 'burban, they are stuck! :) Also, the car's heating vent works to quickly heat up your eyelash curler. Bonus!

Here's an unfortunate example from the lovely Hilary Duff.

After a quick touch-up...

5) True beauty comes from your heart. If your heart is full of bitterness, then you will be ugly, no matter how outwardly gorgeous you are, but a woman who is loving and happy in her own skin is always beautiful!

"A happy heart makes the face cheerful, but heartache crushes the spirit." -Proverbs 15:13 (NIV)

"Her clothes are well-made and elegant, and she always faces tomorrow with a smile." -Proverbs 31:25 (The Message)

Get your good-smiles on!

Fight the Frump, Y'all!

Love, Fussy

More Frump Fighters-

Clothing 101

Photo No-No Smack down

Just say no to Mom Jeans

Lucky you, you Fabulous Friend of Fussypants, you are here from the beginning of Fussy's Marriage Makeover Series. The unofficial title of the series is, "Testicles- Why not let him keep them?"

Do you need Fussy's makeover? Take this easy quiz~

Is your once attentive and loving hubby distracted and seems to be too busy for you?
Do you feel lonely even when he is with you?
Is he zoning out in front of the TV, on the computer, or out with his buddies constantly?
Do you secretly worry that you are becoming your Mother?
Does it seem he is doing anything but spending time with you?
Do you long for just a little attention from the man you married?
Do you wonder why what you have done in the past isn't working?

If you answer yes to more than two of these questions- the new series will bring so much happiness and joy back in your marriage. This blog gives a 100% satisfaction guaranteed or your money back!

Let's face facts. You married him, Girlfriend. He is yours! You can't say you didn't have a clue about his tendency to be rude, crude and socially unacceptable. Did ya' plan on changing him? Did ya' think "it would all work out"? Bummer, huh?

There's hope, Girlfriends. After years of reading Psychology research, popular self-help, Christian counseling, and some ugly trial and error, Fussy is compiling all her best marital ~~Cheap Psychological Tricks~~ wisdom for you.

Fussy's method is all about realities in daily married life, and not what should be. It is all about what techniques are successful, and what techniques lead to failure.

Everyone and every marriage is different, but Fussy has learned that there are a few universal truths that run through all relationships. Join is as we give them a try.

Week One- Bite your tongue

.... and do not make him check his testicles at the door when he comes home at night.

This will be the hardest challenge of all. You can not tell him what you are doing! Don't tell him, "Hey, I'm trying to be nice here! C'mon." It will cause you actual physical pain to refrain from saying everything you are thinking. You can do it, Ladies.

Instead of saying what you could, simply go for back-up- call your gal-pal to vent, say a prayer for strength, or just say something random. A random thing to say to change the subject could be- "What happened in the game?" He will fill in the all the details about a random sports team anyway!

He wants to make you happy....

The vast majority of husbands are desperate for approval and affection. This desire to please their wives tends to be hindered by the tendency to avoid rejection. A main reason that husbands ignore their wives is because they don't feel good talking to them. We all know a man will only try so hard, and then, he just gives up and withdraws.

Why aren't we happy?....

Many women just aren't happy, and it shows. Out of unconscious habit, our words are often filled with criticism, complaints, and negativity. More often than not, this is based in childhood, and when we watched our parents interact. Now combine that with the stresses of "having it all"- work, random obligations, housework, and parenting.

In the weeks to come we will look at ways to relieve some of those burdens off your shoulders, but, one thing at a time. For now......

Just smile, bite your tongue, and remember only one week. This break in negative talk is to help make him (unconsciously) feel like he can put his defenses down. For once, you might not chew him up and spit him out at a moment's notice.

Be prepared, he will do some, if not all of these annoying things over the next seven days...

Leave his boxers all over the bathroom.
Watch way to much TV.
Won't pull his share of the household load.
Fail in his parenting skills.
Be more obnoxious than usual.

These things will happen, especially when you are trying to actually BE NICE! Be prepared, Ladies, it is gonna get ugly. Be strong.

Remember this, changing your behavior is the most powerful tool you have. When you change your tone, you change the marriage. We can't actually force him to change, but by changing the way we practice the 'Gentle Arts' we can, and will, change everyone around us.

Here are the rules-

You can't tell him what you are doing.
Pick one close girlfriend to vent about him to.
Smile at him at least twice a day.
Everytime you feel like nagging, correcting, or complaining- bite your tongue!
Join in with your ideas, tips and experiences in the comments daily. Remember, Fussypants is READER DRIVEN. I need y'all to join in!

"What were you thinking?"
"You'll never get it right!"
"You don't even know what you are doing."
"You never make me happy."
"Whatever."
"Get in there, now, do it!" (Don't be bossy!)

I know that ol' Bitter Betty has this question.. What? As Christian women, we are to be submissive and honor our husbands. What you give us is non-biblical!"

Before the hat email starts pouring in, just wait, give Mrs. Fussypants a chance. Fussy has some supa-cool ~~Cheap-Psychological-Tricks~~ tips for helping us wives ~~control~~ influence our husbands. The Fussy method does not subvert a husband's God given headship in the house. It simply provides women with the tools to ~~get their way~~ influence the man they love.

This week, we are simply exercising discipline over our words. If it has the side benefit of ~~luring him into our little plan~~ bringing us closer, then we all win!